Today I...

did this...

and this

and this

and this

and this

and it was really fun.

Ugh.

Things That Can Suck My Dick

scary abdominal + chest cramps
tired doctors prodding my tummy


Actually, that's it for the minute. Funny story though: I was at the doctor's cause I had painful muscle cramps and I was laying on the doctor bed thing and he got his stethoscope out and said that he was going to "listen to my tummy" and it took all the will in the world for me to not laugh every time he moved the end of it. "listen to my tummy" ahhh. that's funny. or maybe I was just delirious from the painz but I feel a bit better now.

End cool story.

(edit:) sore throats and coldsores are also welcome to suck my fat one

Why?

I have a fucking fever for Yoni Wolf at the moment. I recently scammed Alopecia and Eskimo Snow from Lauren and have physically not been able to stop listening to them since. There are so many things I want to acknowledge about his writing but I haven't had anyone to talk at and it's driving me a bit crazy. I just want to talk to Yoni himself and tell him that I like the way he writes and ask him a million questions about his process and how embarrassed he is to talk about particular songs and observe his mannerisms and the way he talks. His words are so honest and blunt and primitive that it gives that sense of, 'Yeah, exactly...why didn't I write that?' For example, "Ashamed of sleep, I lie when a phone call wakes me" It's like, of course you lie when a phone call wakes you, but the sentence sits so nicely that it feels as if no one has ever worded it like that before.

"It feels exciting touching your handwriting/getting horny by reading it and repeating poor me"

"In one of the many places you're not, I am"

"I'll go unknown by torpedo or Crohn's/only evil live to see their own likeness in stone/my brother said that"

"I curse the last six months I've been hiding behind a moustache, yeah"

"What should these earnest hands be holding? Mom am I failing or worse?"

I want to know what, "Like the first time you used soft water/down on my luck" means.

Man. Need to comb out lyrics. He is too smart. Need to talk to him. Also, he's a looker.

Weekend Went Quick

Hey, it's a new week already. Crazy.

Pretty sure my weekend was pretty rad fun. I did some stuff for my work's website on Friday night, ate a crapload of cookies. Worked all day lawng on Saturday and then had a hip hop party of sorts on Saturday night at our apartment. Talked about first kisses and the weird things Lauren and I do as housemates. Lauren and I made some cheeky punch in a stockpot which was warmly received by most-to-all guests and Lauren and I snuck off to have a cheeky 10 minute skate with our friends who tried to teach me how to ollie but moreso just showed us how he could ollie on account of me fearing for my bones had I jumped on. Next time. And today I worked all day, which was pretty fun. Went over to my friend's house after work and talked girl talk and ate a crapload of chips (I sound so healthy) and then walked home and had grapes and white wine and then some cheeky lemon meringue pie (wow. i need to stop eating crap.) with ashley, lauren and angus and talked mainly about my great rack.

Everything is so much fun. Particularly when you have a new lomo coloursplash camera.

Fuckin' Mac!

My darling buddy Advait jetted off to Rhode Island to do some arting this year and so kindly passed his giant Mac onto me! I am beyond stoked. Though I have found myself to be completely computer-dumb now. I'm like an old person- double clicking on single click icons, feeling totally lost when looking at normal web pages... But me so lucky. Lauren helped me take the above awkward photo which includes me X 2, Lauren X 1 and Mac (I named him Advait for sentiment's sake) X 1.

So this means I will be able to maintain this blog 100 x more diligently, which is awesome I think. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you what I've been up to lately. I bought a Beastie Boys album the other day. That was cool.

Lately, I know it's been pretty non-stop for me but I had a day off today so everything seems to have slowed down, which is lovely. I've been working a bunchload, which has been stressful but things are improving there. For the past couple of days I have been housesitting for my beautiful friend Cheray who lives in a beautiful high-ceilinged loft in St Kilda and I got to also look after her amazing puppy called Kerouac. She is the best.


I've been eating breakfast out at The Galleon in St Kilda rather routinely, which has been totally luxurious and wonderful. Oh, the fruit toast.

But for now, I have 20 zines to bind to sell to Sticky tomorrow morning so I'm gonna bounce.
Goodnight from Advait the Mac.